How many times have you said that there just aren't enough hours in the day? I'd like to
help you find some hours for yourself. With six children, I've had youngsters for what
seems like forever, but I've also managed to have a time-consuming hobby for many years
- I've been computing since 1983.
Most people are responsible for some household chores. Consider yourself lucky if you can afford to pay someone to do them for you. My tips are for the rest of us.
I've often been asked how I find time for my hobby with 'all those kids'. I reply that it is a matter of priorities: sometimes I go without the unnecessary things like sleep. Seriously, there are ways to find time for a hobby and sleep. Your house might not be the tidiest in street, but as Phyllis Diller said, 'Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing.'
Work out where you spend or waste time. Get organised. Work smarter, not harder. Scrooge McDuck said that. Watching cartoons with the kids can be educational!
Don't waste time sleeping. There are two kinds of people. Those who when they wake up say, 'Good Morning Lord.' and those who say 'Good God, it's morning!' If you belong to the second group and hate getting out of bed, no matter how much sleep you've had, don't go to bed early. If you have to get up at 7am and you feel you need 8 hours rest, don't go to bed before 11pm.
If you are a parent you will have learnt to do more than one thing at a time. Haven't you said, 'I can't do two things at once!' while doing just that? Take advantage of the ability. As well as attending to two or three things at a time at home, save time by not going to pay one bill when you know another will arrive soon. Our electricity bill always arrives about a week before the phone bill. They are paid at the same place, so we wait until we have both, and pay them while shopping nearby. Limit your shopping trips. Unfortunately this can be difficult with a family as the food you buy for a week, can disappear in two or three days. Maybe you can find a place to hide some of it.
Some housework has to be done, but do you really need to wash your sheets every week? If you're worried that the neighbours, who know you don't have a dryer, will start talking if sheets rarely appear on your line, hang up some sheets every week or so. They needn't know you didn't wash them.
Couldn't you wear the same clothes more than once between laundering? One of my
daughters expects her clothes to be washed every time she wears them, even if it's only for
an hour or so. Sometimes I merely hang them back in the wardrobe, or put them on her
bed, as if they've been washed.
And ironing. Do you need to do as much as you do? Or any at all? We don't. We save time, money and power. I don't like sewing, but with six kids I am interested in saving money as well as saving time, so alterations to clothes are sometimes made. Then I might iron. Very occasionally.
If there are some in the family who simply have to have something ironed, they are probably old enough to do it themselves. They'll do it, or get over it.
When we were little, one of my brothers used to ask, 'Why should I have a bath? I'll just get dirty again.' Now I ask, 'Why iron clothes? They'll only get crushed again.'
And why rake the autumn leaves before they've all fallen? I see people who spend hours every day looking after their gardens. Unless you enjoy gardening, think about getting rid of your garden. Grass is easier to look after.
Cooking might be fun to you but to me it's just another household chore. If possible, cook
large quantities and use the microwave to re-heat when needed. Enlist the help of your
young children. Pretend you want to mix the cake or prepare something, and they'll beg to
be allowed to help. Take advantage of it. They grow out of it!
Your children will want your attention as soon as you try to do something for yourself. Try to involve them. Maybe they can help you, or work on a project of their own. If necessary, change your timetable. Take time for yourself when they're at school or in bed. Be flexible. When mine went to bed late and got up late, I grabbed two hours in the morning. Now I take my two hours at night.
If you have school children, you will be asked to help in the canteen. Don't be a martyr. If working in the canteen is not your scene, but you want to do something, offer to help with craft or reading or computing. Choose something which you will enjoy.
How will you handle visitors? Those who drop in will have to accept your mess. If you know that visitors are coming, or if you're totally fed up with the mess - it happens to the sloppiest of us - pick up everything that's lying around and put it into boxes or kitchen bins. Then hide the containers and sweep the floor.
The bins and boxes, christened scratch boxes at our place, can provide hours of enjoyment for the kids (scratching around), and peace for you. The longer you can keep them hidden, the greater the enjoyment. Even older kids will think it's great when they see treasures which 'were lost but now are found'.
We have recently discovered the biggest scratch box of all - a shed. A shed can also be a cubby. Encourage the kids to take their 'junk' into it. More in the shed equals less in the house.
The Good Shepherd might have left the 99 sheep to look for the one which was lost, but I
suggest you don't waste time looking for lost items which aren't required right now. They'll
turn up.
If you have a hobby which involves creativity, procrastination can be a problem. You find some time for yourself, but are hit by a sudden urge to do this, that or the other which you normally avoid. Go with it. If the urge was to do something you'd been putting off, do it and get it out of the way. It's amazing how quickly your creativity can return when faced with washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning, or boxes of 'junk'.
In the end it's up to you. You can try to have a 'display home' and spend half your time yelling at the kids and your partner to keep the place tidy, or you can learn to live with a bit of mess and save your sanity by having some time to yourself every day.
